Unapologetically Present: Motherhood, Leadership, and Everything In Between
In 29% of marriages today, both spouses earn about the same amount of money. This statistic continues to move upward, from 11% of couples earning about the same in 1972. [Pew Research Center]
As a working partner, I am far from perfect—neither as a leader nor a mom—but by embracing my journey, I discovered my greatest strengths. As I thought more about my experience, I couldn’t help but wonder where the time had gone…
▶️ How is it possible that all my kids are now grown and on their own?
▶️ How did my husband and I get through those early years when we were both working so hard?
▶️ What might I have done differently?
▶️ What wisdom would I share with other working moms today?
So, here are a few thoughts, broken down into the top 7 things I’d tell my younger self, plus 3 bonus guidelines.
Top 7 Tips to Succeed at Leadership + Motherhood:
Don’t wait for the exact right role or moment in your leadership career to add motherhood to the mix.
Your career growth and personal growth can coexist and complement each other. Motherhood isn’t about finding the perfect timing, but about being adaptable, confident, and committed to your personal and professional aspirations. By investing in your leadership brand, building genuine professional relationships, and cultivating successful team cultures, you’re creating the ideal conditions for navigating motherhood and career simultaneously. When motherhood arrives, you’ll have built a robust professional foundation that supports your journey.
Don’t equate your career with your identity.
This is a tough one, but so important for opening yourself to more flexible, authentic career and personal paths. Additionally, you become more resilient to professional setbacks, more open to unexpected opportunities, and better equipped to make choices aligned with your broader life goals. This mindset protects your mental health and helps you to focus on the deeper values that guide your decisions and inspire your actions.
Don’t forget yourself in the equation of work/motherhood balance.
All parts of your life need attention, not just your work or family. And to be best for them, sometimes you have to find time to focus on yourself. In the complex balancing act of professional and family life, there were times when I became so focused on meeting everyone else’s needs that I neglected my own. However, with a breast cancer fight as a catalyst for my self-nurture, I learned much about taking care of my own needs as well. You don’t need a health crisis to realize that sometimes you need a bit of uninterrupted time to replenish your energy and resilience.
Don’t confuse communication with alignment.
As a working mom, I would strive for what I called: ALL-WAYs Communication. To me, this meant communicating in ALL WAYS, ALL THE TIME. While constant communication is important, the real goal is to develop meaningful dialogue that leads to true alignment with your boss, direct reports, partner, and/or kids. It’s about building clarity and mutual understanding for the simple things AND the more complex areas. For example, work toward building alignment on simple things–like who owns which tasks–as well as refining mutual understanding of the most complex topics–such as being explicit about your challenges, boundaries, and aspirations.
Don’t panic when you feel stretched too thin, because it’s inevitable.
You’re just going to be stretched too thin at times. Feeling stretched thin is not a sign of failure—it’s an inevitable part of the working mom experience. Those moments of intense stress, when it seems impossible to balance everything, are not indicators that you’re doing anything wrong. They are simply part of the complex journey of combining a meaningful career with motherhood. When you feel overwhelmed, resist the spiral of negative self-talk. These challenging moments don’t mean you’ve made poor choices, you’re inadequate, or your family is falling apart. Instead, view them as opportunities for growth, compassion, and strategic recalibration. The most powerful response to feeling overextended is not panic or isolation, but connection and self-advocacy. Speak up. Ask for help—from your partner, your support network, your colleagues, or your family. Remember, needing support is not a weakness—it’s a strength. Successful working moms don’t do it all alone; they build supportive ecosystems and learn to navigate challenges with grace, resilience, and self-compassion.
Don’t let anyone’s judgment overshadow the brilliance of your motherhood.
You will be asked vaguely judgmental questions about your decision to continue working while raising kids. Remember that these questions and reactions may stem from others’ insecurities and limited perspectives—not a reflection of your parenting abilities. Your worth as a mother isn’t determined by whether you work outside the home but by the care you provide and the intentional moments you create. Instead of allowing critical voices (external or internal) to undermine your confidence, redirect your energy to the unique ways you show up in all situations with enthusiasm, guidance, and dedication.
Don’t let feelings of guilt keep you from being in the moment.
Nagging feelings that “you’re not enough” does damage in the long term. Some of the best advice I ever got, helped me drop some of the unhealthy guilt I carried: If you’re in a work moment, be in the work moment. If you’re in a family moment, be in the family moment. If you need a moment, take a moment. If you can’t figure out ways to let your non-productive or unhealthy guilt go, talk about it with someone you trust.
Bonus: My Top 3 Leadership + Motherhood Tips:
✳️ Let go of being an expert.
When you learn to notice and practice letting go of your tendencies toward learning and perfecting every detail, becoming an expert in every task, proving your value, and avoiding criticism, you will build success at higher levels. When I mastered letting go, I rose in my career and became a better mom and partner.
✳️ Set and maintain boundaries using your values as priorities.
While achievement and recognition drive us, overcommitment makes our work and personal lives suffer. Based on knowing your values, work on setting simple boundaries. I recommend following a consistent framework to communicate your needs effectively. By starting small and leveraging mindfulness, boundaries provided the balance I needed.
↳ Using mindfulness techniques, start by understanding and expressing your needs without blaming.
↳ Explain why and how you’re setting a boundary so the other person understands where you’re coming from and why it’s important to you.
↳ If needed and where possible, work together to find ways to clarify or adjust a boundary for a specific environment or situation.
✳️ Build Resiliency.
Resilience refers to your ability to operate effectively under pressure and adapt to unexpected changes. Resilient leaders rebound from setbacks, refocus themselves and their teams, and keep their organization and household moving forward. As I’ve learned how to balance leadership and motherhood, I continuously lean on resilience. Once I rewired my brain for resiliency, I realized I had the skills to handle life’s challenges as they arose. These core qualities are:
↳ Positivity – bring an upbeat and reassuring attitude
↳ Confidence – pair with empathy and focus on inspiring trust
↳ Humility – on the lookout for good ideas and open to feedback
↳ Problem-Solving – using challenges as a way to learn, grow, and drive forward
↳ Big-Picture thinking – focus on long-term goals to motivate others to envision future opportunities
Navigate your Unique Journey
Working motherhood is an act of courage and continuous self-discovery. There’s no single roadmap to success—only the path you create, marked by love, intentionality, and unwavering faith in the future. Embrace the complexity of your journey. Trust your choices. Celebrate your unique blend of professional passion and maternal devotion.
Remember, you are not defined by perfection, but by your commitment to growth, your capacity for love, and your willingness to show up authentically—for yourself, your partner, your kids, and your career. Keep moving ~ there’s motion in what matters to you!
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